The art of pretending to write…
when your pen isn’t even working.
Brain status:
“Maintain eye contact with the file… not the consultant.”
“Flip pages. Nod occasionally. Maybe they’ll think I’m deep in thought.”
“Stand behind the tallest person for stealth mode.”
Mastered Skills:
Holding the file upside down with confidence
Scribbling fake notes in doctor’s handwriting
Looking thoughtful while reading vitals you don’t understand
Intense nodding when consultants speak (while internally screaming)
Friend gets asked a question:
Me: Avoids eye contact like my life depends on it
Consultant: “You, in the back.”
Me: Panics in all known medical languages